Of slackness and survival and camping supplies

I have been so slack. Work intruded and I didn’t make the time to write. Instead I watched TV. That’s just pitiful. But I did learn how to use an analog watch to fashion a compass. How you ask? The truth is, I am addicted to survival shows. I started watching this one called “Dual Survival”. Love it!! One guy is a desert “hippie”. No offense to any free-spirited children of the 60’s, he calls himself that. The other is an ex-military “hillbilly”. Again, no offense to my Appalachian American neighbors, he calls himself that. They have different approaches to survival skills and sometimes snipe at each other throughout the episode. Those episodes are my favorites.

I know, if I found myself dropped in the middle of a rain forest or a desert, I’d have to just go ahead and die. I don’t think I have what it takes to eat a live scorpion or skin a snake. And to be honest, if I couldn’t find water in the desert, I would have a good cry, I don’t care how much water I wasted. I doubt I’d be able to kill an animal for food. It would be easier to forage for whatever greens and grains and fruit I could find. Although, knowing nothing of indigenous flora of my own state, I’m sure to get a hold of something poisonous and die. And I’ve got a serious problem with boundaries. When it comes to furry animals, I have none. When I was little, I’d run up to stray dogs, cats, horses, goats, birds, anything and everything. One of my dad’s favorite stories is how I squealed like a pleased little pig and hugged myself when I saw the Budweiser Beer Clydesdales on TV. (Evidently that was embarrassing when the preacher was over but honestly those horses still make me want to squeal and hug myself). So with no animal boundaries, I know that the first mountain lion or bear  or wolf that I see, I’m gonna want to hug it. So I may not get to eat poisonous berries, I may be killed by the grizzly I just attempted to pet. My brother once told me I should never, under any circumstances go to Alaska (polar bears! I mean, who wouldn’t want to hug a polar bear?). I should probably just extend his caution to any woodsy area where I might see a wild animal. But I still have this sneaking desire to get out there in the woods or the desert or Alaska. 

I know why people leave the safety of home to camp. It’s perfectly understandable. The camping stuff is just so awesome you can’t help yourself. The cute little tents, the clever outdoor shower, the flashlight that you can see in space. I mean, the toys are incredible. Personally I think that these folks get this awesome stuff and can’t wait to use it and don’t stop to think that they might need some more mundane stuff, like food and water. Then they get lost or get dumped in the lake by the kayak they don’t know how to use and all of a sudden they’re trying to survive in the wilderness. I really do understand. I got a fire starting kit and a small knife from the camping store and now can’t wait to try it out. There’s only one thing that’s stopping me. I don’t camp! Really! My parents had a motor home (2 of them) and I refused to go camping with them (and that’s not even real camping). I’m definitely a hotel and room service and internet and cable girl. So why did I get the fire starting kit and the small knife, you ask? Did you miss the part about the camping stuff being so awesome? I also got a paracord bracelet that you can wear so that in an emergency you have cordage. I’m telling you, to me and obviously to other non-wilderness experienced people, camping supplies are like catnip. Ooooh, I just thought of something I can use the paracord for, my cats love to play the string game.

I wonder if the cats would like to go camping??

 

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